Dear 28, let's talk.

Hi you,

You're officially a year nearer to the big 3-0. In fact, your mom just reminded you that a week ago. It's really quite surreal to think about it. Firstly, you need to stop answering your age as '25' cause girl, thats long gone. You can feel that way but you're definitely not. Secondly, good job on making through another year without breaking any part of you. Yes, its a thing to be proud of because you are just becoming more clumsy each year, if thats possible. Your husband's favorite line whenever you go 'ouch' (which is a couple of times a day) is, 'How have you been keeping yourself alive all these years?' 

The last 365 days have had plenty of ups and downs and you've undoubtedly grown a'lil bit wiser, if you can say so yourself. Here are just some lessons you wished you knew a year ago but its okay cause you had fun learning them along the way as well. 

You've always grown up with self-doubts, from bad skin to being told you 'need to lose some weight' OR the latest ones are 'you need to eat/gain weight'.

The last few years, you learnt so much more on how to take care of your skin and you're finally at peace with your skin, scars and everything. You even crazily posted on your skin journey because it was finally time to share and pictures that would have never seen the light of the day made it into that post. It was so bittersweet when you received COUNTLESS of emails from girls telling you about their own skin problems and how their self-esteem took a hit. Remember that one bad year when you wouldn't even want to go for class just cause you thought your skin was so bad, everyone was staring at it? How far you've come. I'm proud of you. 

You also spent last year knowing that you are finally at your happy-weight and you're happy with it. You yoga (rather regularly), you eat better and you are HAPPY. That's really what's important. You feeling comfortable and beautiful in your own clothes. People will always have things to say, but you don't have to listen to them. Do you know how exhausted you will be if you try to accommodate everyone?

Your husband plays a big role in this continuous self-love journey. You still don't really get what he sees in you when he calls you 'beautiful' but you know that man sees the most amazing parts of you that you don't see sometimes. 

You didn't start off 27 on a good note. You had the HUGEST (and now seemingly-ridiculous-but-not-so-much-at-that-time) fight with your family on the banquet that everyone insisted you both need to hold. You didn't really get why cause you don't see it as necessary but after just celebrated that very expensive party, you did not regret it at all. The smiles on all the parents' faces really made it worth it. 

You've spent so many years overseas and when you finally move back second half of last year, you realized how happy you are to just be back in Singapore with family. Sure, they drive you crazy ALL THE TIME but compared to seeing them on a screen for an hour each session, its nothing. It aches your heart to see your mom and dad age and you're grateful to be able to see them each week for dinner and spend family time together. So spend more time with them, listen to them like they've listen to all your complains and bitching the past 28 years, treasure them and don't put off that phone call, or dinner session for another night.

You haven't really made up with your brother yet but oh wells, theres nothing really much you can do about that cause it takes two to clap. Maybe this year will be better. 

This year, you will get to celebrate spending 9 years of your life with this man you call your husband and you know you're nothing but blessed. You don't really know what you did in your past life to deserve someone like him but you know you two are meant to be. Nothing feels more right than waking up to him every morning and fitting right in the crook of his arm. 

Learn from the petty squabbles and nasty fights you have so you can be stronger together. He is your family now and you're his. Both of you are a team and its you two against the entire world. Be on his side, just like he is always on yours. As your mother like to say, 'You not small girl anymore ok. You adult already, someone's wife, someone's daughter-in-law. Don't behave like a spoilt baby.' LOL ok ma. I am going to be more a mature adult this year. 

2018 started really well so let's keep this good note going. Being an introvert is one of the thing you really love/hate about yourself but you're really working on it. You attended the watercolor workshop by yourself and had a blast and you already signed up for the wall-weaving one voluntarily! It's okay to step out of your comfort zone and be a little scared. Be bold to pursue what you love. You never know what will come out of it. 

This year, maybe just let go. Let go of some of your asinine OCD traits - you know what they are. It's okay to leave things to tomorrow. It's okay to not please everyone in this world. It's ok to not feel okay and admit it. It might feel like you're dying a'lil inside but don't swear the small stuff. Look at the big picture. 

Don't get bogged down by dramas happening around you and don't be quick to judge others. Everyone has their own struggles and so do you. This falls right into the 'its okay to not please everyone' statement. 

Make this year count and care about you and your loved ones rather than people who you don't. Let go of toxic relationships cause who need those? You will always have your loved ones supporting you and loving you unconditionally so be less afraid. Throw caution to the wind and let's do this. 

Love, Pea

pearlyn neome