Day 1

Happy 初一 err'badi! Wishing everyone a prosperous and super 旺 CNY! May all your gamblings be accompanied with luck and the year filled with joy!

3am and I'm wrapping my red packets. Sozzzz my friends, you're not getting any from me. Both our parents insisted that we haven't done our tea ceremony so NO COUNT HAHAHA We get to skip one more year! But of cuz, must give parents and siblings lah.

Today's details! I have not decided what shoes to go with leh. But I'm really loving the colors of this dress! Also keeping it simple with accessories cause my dress's prints is so lovely.

And then things took a sudden change after we finished praying at the temple. The husband is in CGH for the exact same thing just two weeks ago. I'm just thankful this is SG and everything was handled so efficiently. 

People be lookin' at all of us like we cray for being so dressed up in the a&e. 

The first doctor said the scans showed some slight abnormalities and worries about a perforation so she sent for a specialist. At that moment, I was just trying to breathe, keep calm and not cry. Thankfully my in-laws were there as well or I might have gone crazy. 

Every time the pain hits, his heart rate speeds up just alil. It made my heart break into so many pieces. 

He was soon warded and he was given sedatives to sleep the pain away. That worked the last time so we are hoping it will work this time too. 

Day 2

So basically, he knocked out last night and when he woke up this morning, he was fine, which was exactly the same as the last time. All tests and repeated scans came back normal but since the pain seemed to be a recurrent thing, they performed a scope to determine if any thing else is causing this.

Doctor then came back with diagnosis of inflammation of the stomach walls from long-term use of Synflex without acid inhibitors. This caused his lining to break down and if not treated, might lead to ulcers and perforations, Other contributing factors are of cuz, diet, stress etc. 
So anyw, they prescribed him with proper necessary medication and gave him proper medicine. Also no reason for him to be kept in so he was discharged. We all thought it was fantastic news.

From the deep down bottom of my heart, I really was very thankful to all the CGH A&E staff yesterday. I didn't get names cause I was in a mess but the nurses and doctors were so attentive and made sure to give him the best medical care. I was really thankful that they were there and they tried their best to make him comfortable and at the same time, reassure the frenzied family members around him, bombarding them with all kinds of questions and worries.

I definitely wasn't expecting this when we were preparing to come back to SG. I definitely wasn't expecting this on CNY itself. 

But all in all, I'm truly glad this didn't happen on the flight back, didn't happen in Boston again where I was all alone, didn't happen when he's in Taiwan, didn't happen when I wasn't around and didn't happen when he's alone. Things happen for a reason and I hope this is the start of recovery once we find out what's the cause. 

I was also overwhelmed with all the love and concern everyone is showing us. Not only from family and friends but also from dayre. I had so many dayreans text me personally to wish him well and I teared up all over again just reading all ur well-wishes and texts. Thank u for keeping him in your prayers and this really means the world to me.

We rushed home to wash up and went for visiting cause the hubs said he wanted to! I was just glad he's better. Here's my #fotd for 初二! 

Primer: Hourglass AL Primer (Luminous Light)
Foundation: Laneige Pore Control BB (21) + Clearlast Medicated
Concealer: UD Naked Skin (Light|Neutral) + Tarte Shape Tape (Fair|Neutral)
Contour: CP Sculpting Stix (Dove) + NYX Blush (Taupe)
Highlight: Hourglass Strobe Light (Incandescent)
Blush: NARS Blush (Desire)

Brows: NYX Microbrow Pencil
Mascara: Maybelline Falsies Push Up + Laneige String Longlash mascara
Liner: Beauty People Waterproof Gel Liner + KVD Tattoo Liner

Lipstick: Kylie Liquid (Kristen)

Can y'all tell I had almost no sleep? 😂 #powerofmakeup

First stop was at my grandmother's house. Look at those pineapple tarts. 

初二 #ootd ! Finally get to wear my #TTR dress and my husband likes it a lot. He kept complimenting it. Matched it with my $6.80 taobao clutch that everyone on dayre owns.

With my pretty SIL

Happy CNY from the Chias! Wishing everyone 身体健康 cause health is really wealth!! Health scares are really terrible and hope everyone stay healthy and happy! 

The husband seemed okay for the most part. The doctor advised him to stay on medication for 2 months and all should be good. 

One from the Neos. 

This picture is definitely for memories cause first time giving angbao to my brother!

But this picture describes our relationship better. Me nagging at him and him being all annoyed.

His repeated blessings to us was '早生贵子' & '子孙满堂'. What even.

One with the parents. 

Here's 3 monkeys. 

We went down to my aunt's place and had steamboat! Well, the husband had 1 small bowl of soup with plain rice cause poor thing must maintain his diet still. 

Then they proceeded to put a bolster on our heads each and screamt 'UNICORNS'

After my aunt's place, we went to husband's friend's place to gamble and for supper. Right after, his stomach seemed to act up all over again. 

Day 3

I haven't had sleep for the past....idek. What's today's date?

I've lost count of everything. 

Haven't slept since the 28th and idk how I'm still functioning. And I'm suppose to be responsible for another human being in this state. 

I don't dare to close my eyes. I don't want to sleep. I'm terrified I'll miss out on the doctor's rounds. 

My brain is in a mess and my body feels like it's going to give up on me anytime already. But no, no it's not. I refuse to let it. I'm pushing food in to me even tho I have zero desire to eat. I need to be strong. I gotta stop crying. 

Everything is blurring together in my mind alr and I'm getting dates and times mixed up. Idk how I would have done this without my in-laws and parents. Family is so important.

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 I'm praying for strength to keep me going on and not fall now. Not when he needs me the most. I keep wishing that the pain is in me and not him. I can tolerate pain so why not let it be me? 

I'm not a yeller. Especially to people who are helping us. But I've officially turned into a yeller of nurses and doctors.

Nurse X from CGH just tried to ask the husband to shush and not disturb other patients and when asked what would she do if he were say, a pregnant lady birthing, Nurse X had the bloody nerve to say - 

 Oh that is so different. You ask your wife if period cramps is the same. 


It's like if I'm a guy and I turned to her and say, 'Oh yah. Cramps is nth like getting kicked in the balls.' 

You can't downplay pain. You can't deny the fact he is in pain. You can't compare PAIN. HOW R U A NURSE 🖕🏼

This is what I mean. Usually, I would understand that the nurse is trying to calm us down. But I can't. I can't have anyone downplaying his pain and act like he is doing all these on purpose. 

Trust me. We didn't take a 24-hr flight back to SG to do THIS. 

I'm exhausted. I'm so tired & I keep starting to cry but have to will my tears back because I can't cry. I have to be strong. But oh god, I'm so tired. 

We are clueless now. We are all left clueless and lost. Doctors have no clue. They've done everything they can. They've run every test they can. He's ran through A-Z of pain meds. 

Then why is my husband still in pain? 

We just gotta wait for a specialist and apparently specialists don't work on holidays. And on-call specialist only attend to emergency. It's a stupid system.

Pls let me be the one in pain. I can take pain. Pls just take the pain away from him. 

I have a million things on my mind and nothing at all. I haven't even finish prepping for the workshop but I can't focus on anything but him. 

My packages are packed and ready to be mailed but they are sitting at my desk just waiting. I sincerely, deeply apologize for the delay and I promise I'll find a way to get them to the post office asap. 

I've never felt so helpless before. To look at him as he begged for someone to take away the pain and I can only hold him and whisper in his ears. I feel utterly useless.

I finally have a chance to lie down and I can alr feel my lids closing in. Have been just beside him in the hospital bed and omg, when I laid down, I felt like crying again. I'm exhausted. This is how exhaustion really feels like. 

As long as the husband is not ingesting anything, the pain doesn't exist. When the pain hits, it doesn't go away by itself and it lasted 16 hours the last time. 

After experiencing it for the 3rd time, I can safely say that only knocking him out works. Pain killers doesn't take the pain away and they can't dish out sedatives so liberally, duh, of course. 

So to avoid pain through eating, even tho the doctor has said he is able to eat, I have requested for an IV drip to keep him hydrated instead of ingesting solids. At least for today. He tried to eat lunch and had 3 small mouthfuls of porridge. The next thing I know, he was screaming and crying in pain all at once. Seeing him writhing and tearing his hair out from the pain makes me want to die. 

I can't bear for him to be pumped full of sedatives again. 

The side effects are just too much to bear and he's been getting those for the past few days already. So I'm trying my best to avoid him needing more pain medication. 

Why do I feel like I'm an expert on gastroenterology all of a sudden

I'm super chui but I'm so happy here because no more pain. His pain is binary - 1 or 0. No gradual, no subsiding, nothing. 

When the pain is there, it consumes him whole and it's a 1. When he is sedated and relaxes, the pain just leaves and the second he is up, it's a 0. 

Since the sedative took over that afternoon, the husband hasn't been in any pain - which I'm MOST grateful for. Seeing him in pain was just...horrible.

The anxiety, the heartbreak, the frustration, the utter helplessness was just overwhelming. I could only hold him tight when he was writhing in pain. Seeing his entire body break out uncontrollably in cold sweat and then shivering from it was too much. 

But everything I went thru was nothing compared to the pain the husband was going thru. My in-laws were just as lost when it came to it and I can only imagine their heartbreak seeing their son in that state. No parents would ever want that. 

X-ray and CT revealed nothing. A scope done showed some mild inflammation of stomach lining but the docs are saying that it's not supposed to cause this amount of pain especially since he had already taken his pills in the morning. 

His vitals are well within the normal range. Blood tests all came back clean and they even did one to check his thyroid and it's normal too. So basically, clean bill of health with an unexplained cause of pain??? 

It has got to the point where the doc is considering getting a psychiatrist to talk to the husband. SIMI LEH. He's not making up the pain leh wtf. The doc did admit that after talking to the husband, he didn't think that he was mentally unstable or seemed to be making any of it up. 

We are talking everything one step at a time and the husband is taking food slowly as well. Wtv it is, if the pain hits again (CHOY TOUCH WOOD), then at least we are alr in the hospital. It's so damn scary when it starts happening outside okay.

As of now, no pain is good enough for me. I can deal with wearing 2-day old clothes, not showering and sleeping on the couch, as long as he is okay. I can deal with everything else.

On a different note, I just really want to thank everyone who dropped a comment, gave any suggestions which u think helped and the pour of whatsapp messages and emails from friends and families. The support system we have here is truly incredible. I wouldn't have been able to survive this on my own.

My dad, who regularly reads my Dayre (ikr? Like my biggest supporter), read yesterday's post and mailed out all my packages for me. He got my aunt to print out everything I needed. 谢了,老爸。

Right after, ni offered to mail them out and buy me food to CGH even tho she stays in freaking Woodlands and it might as well be JB. 

Multiple girls from the workshop has emailed me assuring me not to worry if cancellation is needed. But don't worry! Everything is on - this is smth I've planned and looked forward to for so long and I really am looking forward to meet each of u!

Right now, we are waiting for ultrasound to see if any smaller gallstones are being missed out. Sigh, really putting him thru a battery of tests but still getting no diagnosis.

7-11 has been my frequent hangout since we got here cause they are the only place here opened for 24 hours. 

Our sleeping times have been so out of whack. When the husband rests, I try and rest too so this normally amounts to sleeping at 8pm and waking up at 3-4am in the morning. 

Finding the Tsum Tsum Ariel bottle was a nice addition and I'm taking comfort in the little stuff.

When you are extremely bored in the hospital.....🌚

Okay, so basically, once again, everything came back clean. They are going to draw blood one last time to test for a rare disease that I can neither pronounce nor spell. 

The test results will only come back in 1-2 weeks and since he's not in pain now, there's no sense just staying here. So he's being discharged. 

In the meantime, we are collecting all the reports and test results done here and probably going to either SGH or Mt. E for a second opinion soon. 

So in conclusion, no one knows wtf is going on.

pearlyn neokeith and pea, cny